Music and Sound for my wedding: What, When, Where, How?

The answer to this may seem intuitively obvious; I want music that my guests and I can enjoy and dance to at my wedding and I want to have a band or DJ perform the music. Question answered, right? Well, not really.

The “where” is, where in my wedding should I have music? Again, intuitively obvious, right? Sure, I want music at my ceremony and reception. Well, there may be other considerations and we’ll get into them.

Once we’ve determined where, and there can be multiple answers to that and they will not only be positions in your wedding timeline but also locations, the where answer may dictate the how.

Once each where and how has been determined, this may dictate the when and what.

So, this is real clear, right? I know, it sounds confusing so please read on.

Where?

As I said, this will be both position in your timeline and a location.

The obvious answers in timeline are ceremony and reception, but, won’t you be having a rehearsal and a maybe a rehearsal dinner; maybe the bride and groom might want one last night to howl before the wedded bliss begins so there might be a bachelor and bachelorette party. These are all good answers to the where in the timeline.

I’ll address each of these possibilities as we progress. This is just to introduce the basics and get you thinking.

How?

Once you’ve determined the where in the timeline that will also lead you to answers as to where as far as location is concerned. The location where may dictate the how as far as music and sound is concerned. For example, some venues may provide their own music and sound and you may not have to worry about it; a bar or club for that bachelor/bachelorette party is a good example.

When?

This question is in regard to the exact timing of the music and sound in the specific timeline event. For example, when do you need music in your ceremony and reception and when do you just need voice amplification?

What?

The when dictates the what. The basic question is, what type of music or sound is appropriate?
Where, How, When, What?

Now let’s answer these in a logical manner. I’ll concentrate on the where in the timeline and let everything else fall out logically; well, as logically as possible.

Bachelor/Bachelorette Party

So, you two want one more night to let your hair down and party with your buds? As a married man I can tell you that you will have some time to howl after the wedding is sealed but it may be much more sedate.

If you are planning that party in a restaurant, bar, or club then the how question may already be resolved in that the venue may already provide the music and sound. Of course, if your party has an “adult” feature and you are in a bar or club that caters to that then it definitely is taken care of, but, let’s say it is in a hall or private room of a restaurant, bar, or club. In that case you may be able to bring in your own music and sound and may wish to consider the same vendor you are using for the rest of your wedding.

In the case of a bachelor/bachelorette party the answers to the questions of when or at what points do I need music and sound and what music and sound do I need are pretty free form and may also be dictated by the location. In all honesty these parties are planned by the best man and the maid/matron of honor so I’d just tell them what your boundaries are and let them handle it.

Rehearsal Dinner

This is one most folks don’t even think about. This may actually be an opportunity for those not able to attend the wedding to wish them well. It may also be an opportunity for those that traditionally would not make a toast to do just that; maybe even a roast of the bride and groom.

The location where you wish to have the rehearsal dinner may dictate the music and sound how. If you are using a public restaurant and just reserving tables then it is a good chance that some sort of background music is already provided and the only way toasts or speeches will happen is if the presenter stands up and tries to talk over the din of the restaurant.

If, however, you are using a private room, things are different and you can design this to your liking. In this case there is no reason why you cannot hire the vendor you are using for the music and sound for the rest of your wedding.

If guests are coming to the rehearsal dinner that are not at the rehearsal then you may wish to have some cocktails or finger food for them and have your music and sound vendor play some background music.

Once all of your guests are in place at the private room you may wish to defer the toasts which, from experience, can get lengthy, until after dinner has started or after dinner. During dinner you will want to have your music and sound vendor play background music appropriate for a dinner setting.

After dinner and any toasts or roasts are completed you may just want to give your guests some time to dance and enjoy themselves; if some of them cannot make the wedding this may be the only time for them to enjoy themselves with you until after your wedding.

Your Ceremony

You will definitely need music for your ceremony and their specific places in your ceremony timeline where you will need music.

Again, the location you plan to use may dictate the how and what. For example, if you are using a church then they may require you to use their sound system and personnel; this, of course, will be an extra expense or “donation” on your part.

If you opt to not use their personnel you may be required to bring in your own equipment. This is perfectly understandable because they may have invested many dollars into their equipment and would not want folks unfamiliar with it to be using it. So, you may wish to consider the vendor you are using for your reception sound and music to handle this.

If you are not using a church then you will have to consider the same vendor you are using for your reception sound and music or maybe instrumentalists or vocalists.

Now, the what may also be dictated by the location. Many churches will require you to only use music on their authorized list and require you to check with them before you can use their church. If it is not a church your only limit is your own personal decorum.

Now, when do you need music? Below you will find a list of activities that occur at most wedding ceremonies.

Prelude – This is music played while your guests arrive and traditionally is classical.

Mothers Entrance – This is music played when the mothers come in. One song is needed. After the mothers enter the Groom and his groom’s men and officiate enter. No special music is usually needed for that.

Bride’s Maids Entrance – This is music played as they come in. One song is needed for this. The flower girl and ring bearer usually follow the bride’s maids and no special music is needed.

Bride’s Entrance – Most folks go with “Here Comes The Bride”. After the bride is with the Groom this is faded out.

Unity Candle – This tradition may not happen but if it does then music is needed.

Recessional – This is after the Bride and Groom are announced as man and wife and are ready to leave. This continues till the bridal party and officiate have left.

Postlude – This is just a continuing of the Prelude as the guests leave.

Your Reception

Like your ceremony, this is another place you will definitely need music. You will need it for the cocktail hour, introductions, meal, special dances and activities, and, of course, dance time.

The only thing that may be dictated by the location you choose is sound level. if you choose a church hall you may still want to keep to the decorum of the church.

Here are the reception activities for which you will need music:

Cocktail Hour – If you have not already thought of this you may wish to include a time for cocktails for your guests. There will be a period of time while you are still at the ceremony venue taking pictures and your guests will be arriving at the reception venue; this may take up to an hour or more. Providing some light refreshments and drinks allows them to wait for you in comfort and chat with other guests. Some light background music is preferred for this.

Wedding Party Introductions – A single song, usually upbeat, is the preference here. The size of your wedding party will determine if this song is faded out or another song is needed.

Bride and Groom Introductions (Grand Entrance) – Again, a single, upbeat song is the preference.

Dinner – Light, easy listening background music should be chosen here. Many couples opt for Rat Pack (Martin and Sinatra) or some specific theme.

First Dance – This is your first dance as husband and wife so a song that is meaningful to both of you should be the preference. Some couples are choosing to do the joke first dances where they start off to a “traditional” first dance but go into a “funky” dance or a choreographed routine with others in the wedding party; ask yourself if you want to remember your first dance as husband and wife as something meaningful or as a joke before you decide to do this. Also you may want to consider allowing the rest of your guests to join you after a certain point.

Father/Daughter Dance – This is a special dance between the bride and her father. It should be a song meaningful to them both. You may also want to consider allowing other fathers and daughters join you after a certain point.

Mother/Son dance – This is a special dance between the groom and his mother. It should be a song meaningful to both. You may also want to consider allowing other mothers and sons join you after a certain point.

Combined Father/Daughter and Mother/Son – Some brides and grooms choose to combine both dances. A song meaningful to all involved should be chosen. You may wish to allow other fathers and daughters and mothers and sons join you after a certain point.

Wedding Party Dance – This is a special dance for all the members of the wedding party. Since these are either family or friends of the bride and groom, a song meaningful to all involved should be chosen.

Apron/Honeymoon/Dollar Dance – These are all the same dance. It started out as a Polish tradition and has been Americanized. Essentially, the guests pay to dance with the bride and groom. In the Polish tradition it is just the bride and it is just Polkas. The number of songs played depends on how many people wish to dance. At a minimum, four songs should be chosen.

Garter Removal – This is when the groom removes the bride’s garter. Many opt for seductive or sexy songs. The whole song will not be played.

Garter Toss – This is when the groom tosses the garter to all eligible single men. Something upbeat and fun is the preference.

Bouquet Toss – This is when the bride tosses the bouquet to all eligible single ladies. Again, something upbeat and fun is the preference.

Anniversary Dance – Some couples are opting to do this in lieu of the garter and bouquet toss. Essentially, the dance starts with the bride and groom and then the Master/Mistress of Ceremonies (MC) asks for couples married a year or less to join them. Then the MC asks for couples married five years or less to join them. This goes in progression until the couple that has been married the longest comes to the floor. The bride and groom present them with the garter and bouquet and they present the bride and groom with advice on longevity of marriage. A single song, usually a slow dance, is preferred.

Cake Cutting – This is when the bride and groom cut the cake. Something on a sweet or candy theme is usually chosen.

Farewell Dance – This is what is traditionally known as the last dance. Most couples go with a slow and sentimental song. It may be a good idea to allow the rest of your guests to join you after a point.

Closing

I hope you have found this little primer helpful. As always, ask your DJ or band for help with the songs you need.